And I've a test to sit for in less than 14 hours' time, which I haven't exactly finished studying for. How come I don't feel worried? Somehow my impending graduation has given me a sense of false security and nonchalance towards stuff like this. But if i don't buck up soon, I think my CAP'll probably go to the realm of somewhere which I don't really wish to see. Tsk.

And on a totally unrelated note, I'm pretty horrified by the state of my English now. How am I supposed to go teach English in Japan with my current standard? That is, if I pass the interview. And that's a very big 'if'. I don't know how I should feel about this: On the one hand, I'm pretty excited to have a chance to go back to Japan once more (IF I pass), but on the other hand, I'm scared. I don't want to go there all alone with no one I know for a year, and leave behind so many familiar things. ):

Actually I didn't really want to talk about this here: I've always had this superstition that good things'll go bad if you talk about them prematurely. As if you're jinxing things up. And I don't really let myself hope for too much also because along with high expectations come huge disappointment. But if so, how can the interviewer detect my passion and the fact that I want it badly enough to give it to me?

Now, that's the crux of the question after all, isn't it? Do I really want it as badly as I think I am? I really don't know. And I think I better stop talking about it anymore lest this really jinxes up my chances.