Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Haven't blogged for a while because I was struggling with certain issues a while back.
Needless to say, but those issues pertained to work of course.
Seeked the advice of the bf, E, and a couple of church friends.
And I came to realise no matter what others say (which basically was the same thing in essence), the thing that matters most was your own mindset.
So, October was a bad, bad month.
I don't know why or how those issues surfaced, but I was just grappling with leaving the job or not.
Those very same things kept replaying in my mind, and I couldn't seek relief from them no matter how hard I tried.
In other words, I was tormenting myself (and perhaps people around me) with silly thoughts and ending up very frustrated, angsty and upset.
Especially with myself.
But yep, things are finally getting better. (:
I realised, all along, I've been too self-absorbed, constantly focused on my own feelings.
But instead, I shouldn't be so worried because I've Him!
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
All in all, not too bad an end to the month of October! (:
Shall just do my best in work and not have anymore stray and useless thoughts!
頑張ろうね！
♥7:31 PM
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Had a fruitful day at work today!
For the first time in the duration of this internship, I was actually glad to leave for home at 6.30p.m.! (((:
Was busy as a bumble bee, rushing to meet the various cut-off times, but I thought it was a day well spent.
I'd rather be so busy until I've no time to breathe than to sit at my desk and read stupid IOPs whole day long.
At least I feel useful in that way. (:
Yep, guess that'll be all for now...Looking forward to tomorrow - hopefully there'll still be things to occupy me again! Tata~
♥10:55 PM
Friday, October 3, 2008
何も分かってない。I'm such a mass of contradictions.
I want to just curl up somewhere and cry.
I'm so confused, and so lost.
At first, I thought this was a job I wanted so much.
As time passed by, that pretty hue gradually wore off.
I think the veil totally came apart when JH resigned, when it made me realise, maybe I didn't really want it as much as I thought I do.
Feeling so jaded, and disillusioned.
What kind of life am I leading anyway?得过且过吗？
很沉重的心理负担。It's all so contradictory actually.
I'm doubting myself, and something that I've strived so hard for.
Heartache...
I really don't know how to put this across.
But yeah, I know a lot of this internship hinges on myself, and I've been giving myself too much pressure.
Ultimately, I'll just have to take whatever comes my way, good or bad.
Till then.
It's time to indulge in Him again, for I know He's the one who'll be able to give me shalom peace. :)
No matter what happens, as long as I know I've Him by my side, everything'll be fine.
♥9:06 PM
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Hiatus.
Disgruntled at work.
Chat emails.
IOPs.
Disjointed thoughts...
Anyways. The baby just left for Japan last night for a frigging 10 months!
How am I going to survive without him by my side eh?
But my mind was in a blank when I sent him off at the airport.
I love my baby so much, and I'm so thankful for his understanding, and for refusing to give up on me...
Sometimes I doubt I'd have the strength to carry on if not for him.
Sighs. 10 months of skyping awaits; nowhere as good as the real thing. ):
And work? Pretend that I never mention anything.
Tata.
♥1:31 AM
