I'm such a mass of contradictions. I want to just curl up somewhere and cry. I'm so confused, and so lost.
At first, I thought this was a job I wanted so much. As time passed by, that pretty hue gradually wore off. I think the veil totally came apart when JH resigned, when it made me realise, maybe I didn't really want it as much as I thought I do. Feeling so jaded, and disillusioned.
What kind of life am I leading anyway? 得过且过吗？ 很沉重的心理负担。 It's all so contradictory actually. I'm doubting myself, and something that I've strived so hard for.
Heartache...
I really don't know how to put this across.
But yeah, I know a lot of this internship hinges on myself, and I've been giving myself too much pressure. Ultimately, I'll just have to take whatever comes my way, good or bad.
Till then.
It's time to indulge in Him again, for I know He's the one who'll be able to give me shalom peace. :) No matter what happens, as long as I know I've Him by my side, everything'll be fine.
